You knock on my door, I say come in. You sit on my bed, you ask me about my day. I say come back later, I say I'm busy. You come back, I say not now. Then you're off again, off to your bathroom, to turn on the faucet, and sob for a while.
You ask me if the new outfit you bought makes you look fat, I say there's more of you to love in it. You ask me if I think you are pretty, I nod and say yeah, yeah, adding on that you arn't what you used to be a couple years ago.
I don't ever want to make you feel this way Mom, I hope to be the daughter you've always dreamed of. This year I want to have a better relationship with you Mom, I want to see that beautiful smile on your face.
Beauuutiful vignette:) The way you stringed the words made the reader feel that feeling you don't want your mom to ever feel. And that made me cry(;
ReplyDeleteawww, i agree! i realy love it, i like how u would continue on with the "you say", a refrain. good job!
ReplyDeleteWow anna, good job you showed lots imagery and great description. Good job!
ReplyDeleteI love your refrains!! Everthin is so detailed, from what you regret, to what you want to do! Good job :)
ReplyDeleteu showd great imagery
ReplyDeletegood job
Wow that was great. It Showed how u were before and why u want want change. It had imagery and emotion in it, like when u said she cried.
ReplyDeleteILOVE YOU TOOO!
ReplyDeletethankyou everyonee :)
ANNA MARIE MONTOLLA DE LOS ANGELES GONZALES RAMIREZ GOMEZ (shimova) this was GOR-GEOUS LIKE A PRIMA- BALLERINA! I LOVED EVERYTHING, HAD IMAGERY, IT HAD EVERYTHING!
ReplyDeleteWoww
ReplyDeleteBEAUTIFUL
Great imagery and every word there, is so WOW. Touchy.
GREATTT JOB :D
AWWWWW I LOVE IT!!! AMAZING!!!! ABSOLUTLY EVERYTHING ABOUT IT IS GREAT!
ReplyDeletei like how u said it like u were saying it to her, good job :)
ReplyDeleteThis is a great poem! I really love the whole theme. This is amazing. Simply beautiful. :P
ReplyDelete